I have a confession....i was super tired and worn this time last week. That is very hard for a creative to admit, especially a mama creative. It's not something I am proud of but I found myself forgetting a lot of things, going to bed way too late, running errands that never had a stopping point and neglecting my children in a way I said I never would. But, thankfully, God grabbed me in just the way He knows how I will respond and told me to breathe because I was "Bent Out of Shape."
This Sunday our pastor had a sermon on how "Normal is Unfulfilled" and i realized i'm much happier being WEIRD! He had an acronym that spelled the word SHAPE. Our S.H.A.P.E is declared by our Creator way before we take our first breath. In Ephesians 2.10, {which happens to be the verse I declared over Sophie while pregnant with her} Paul tells us that "We are Christ's masterpiece {or workmanship}; created in Christ Jesus to do good works which he prepared IN ADVANCE for us to do." The Hebrew translation of the word 'workmanship' is POEM.....how beautiful is that? We are His poem, His lyrical masterpiece and we each are given a different stanza, a different rhyme that only He could create. Well, my poem had turned into an off track record that just kept skipping because it was scratched, badly scratched.
As creatives we tend to take on any and everything we can to fuel our creativity. We become gluttons of our own creative juices and to be honest, i didn't even have a hunger to create for a while there. And that alone terrified me. It stopped me in my tracks and one day in my dining room i broke. i sat, i didn't say a word and just listened. it was a prayer of silence where i allowed Christ to flow over me and my spiritual gift. I heard Him say, STOP. BREATHE. REST. He didn't mean go lay down, eat ice cream and sleep {although that sounds like a dream!} . He was calling me to remember the Sabbath and KEEP IT HOLY. See, if we become so full of to-dos, people, things, technology or ourselves we don't have time to remember the Holy One at all. That's why He calls us to rest. So we He can breath HIS air into our lungs and in turn allow us to breathe out something even more beautiful and poetic.
I want to create beautiful things FOR HIM. I want to design fun invitations FOR HIM. I want to devote time to my family FOR HIM. I have a craving to glorify Him in every aspect of my life and I know that is meant to be through my work, my relationships and my alone time with my Savior. He created us to do good works and planned those BEFORE we were even woven in our mother's wombs....that's pretty mind blowing! Our pasts create lighted ways to our future and He has had His hand in all of that....mind blown again!
So, i say all this as a pouring out of my heaped up heart today. So you know, as a customer or not, that my heart of hearts is truly for my God! He created me to create and for that i am over the moon thankful. But He also wants me to give myself grace and time to rest so my SHAPE doesn't get so out of whack again. As Shauna Niequist book says, we are to be PRESENT OVER PERFECT {go get this book---you can thank me later!}
I also want you to know that I will be scaling back on what we "offer" at RDP. We have too many irons in the fire and rather than being a "Jack of all trades and a Master of none", we want to do what we do WELL. So, please give us grace and know that if we don't do it, we will always refer you to a super creative business that does.
Wholesale is coming to a halt right now too----that's an entirely different can of worms that I don't feel God is calling me to at this time. Custom is where we began and it is what keeps this train rolling. It's truly where my heart is and what feeds my soul----that's important. Of course, what i have in shops locally is staying and growing and i'm all about the local love:)
Where I am sorry for the essay on my little hiatus, i'm not sorry for what God is doing in me and what He has done thus far. Not a day goes by that I'm not grateful but I know now that gratitude has to be accompanied by a rested heart to truly bless others. If my cup isn't filled then I cannot pour into anyone or anything else that needs some filling. So, here's to a full cup and prayers that it will runneth over to bless those around me.
the man that keeps my head out of the clouds but happily adds air to my crazy balloon when he knows i need it.....God did a good work in the one! photo by Vicki Eastland
Moving into our Christmas card season, I can already feel God's hand on each card and i promise that each family is prayed for more than once in the design process and again when I receive cards in our own mailbox. So, if I could be so bold to ask that you please pray for me, my family and my carpel tunnel {kidding but not really} over the next 3 months. And if you see me and i look like i've been out all night drinking----i may or may not have {now i truly am kidding}, know that I love what I do and all of you. I can say that with all honesty......
...and a RESTED heart whose shape is no longer bent but whole again. {for now;}
with joy ~ em
{for more on this topic of your SHAPE and God's calling on your life please visit Pinelake and watch the Sermon Series on Weird} You can thank me for that later too!